Finally! Here we are in the middle of April and it's only now that we are starting to see some movies that are more than just the leftovers from the previous year. In fact as we get closer and closer to the summer months (Still a long way away, I know) we should start to see more of the high budget blockbusters that the major studios love so much.
For me it is a welcome change. I am tired of the sappy dramas and cheap family crap. Mostly I am exhausted from eating the award show leftovers and I am ready for my next meal.
That being said, there were a lot of movies to choose from that are coming out in the next month. I chose the four biggest, loudest, explodiest films I could find for the month of April. They may not all be good, but I will be sure to avoid paying for the flicks that I judge as sub par.
Crank: High Voltage
I will admit to having a slight bias towards certain types of movies (in case it wasn’t already obvious). I think it has something to do with the man in me. A romantic comedy will usually have me running for the ipecac to induce vomiting in order to prevent poisoning. Give me an equally terrible action flick however, and I will willingly devour every minute of it.
Crank: High Voltage seems to pick up where its predecessor left off. The first movie followed action mainstay Jason Statham as he attempted to keep a poison from killing him. In order to do this he had to keep his adrenaline levels up. The first film had him punching old ladies in the face, having sex in odd places, and sucking down Redbull. This was of course when he wasn’t blowing up everything in sight. The latest film has changed the drug of choice from adrenaline to electricity. Instead of punching old ladies he is rubbing up against them for a simple static charge.
I am going to come right out and say it. I loved the first movie. I loved it so much that I am willing to shout praises from rooftops. It had no story, mediocre acting and stupidly impossible situations. However it was some of the most fun I have ever had in a movie. At the end of the day I was just happy to be along for the ride.
Crank: High Voltage promises to be every bit as asinine as the original and yet I am anxious to see it and get the testosterone pumping.
State of Play
Speaking of action there is nothing better for my man-sense than a good spy thriller. Not only do I get the blood flowing, I also get to flex my brain a little bit as I try to piece together the clues and figure out whodunit. However, lately quality has definitely been lacking in this genre. I miss how a movie could thrill me and make me think at the same time.
Unfortunately, I am not optimistic that State of Play can do anything to break this slump. This one stars Russell Crowe as a no-nonsense journalist who will do anything for a story. He comes to the aid of an old friend (Ben Affleck) who is a politician caught in a scandal and naturally uncovers some deeper conspiracy that goes up to the highest levels of government. He learns the hard way that everyone is evil and he should trust nobody but himself. Blah blah blah insert standard thriller formula here.
The thing about this movie that will fool people (and admittedly almost fooled me) is the quality of the cast. Besides Crowe you also have Helen Mirren, Rachel McAdams, Jeff Daniels, and Jason Bateman. It almost makes it easy to forget that this movie follows by the same plot arc that 90% of thrillers use.
X-men Origins: Wolverine
Wolverine has always been the badass of the comic book world. He is a cigar smoking, hard drinking, womanizing prick. He is also indestructible and is always ready to make quick work out of any mutant that messes with him or his friends. Everything about a Wolverine movie should thrill and excite me, and yet it doesn’t. In fact the whole notion of another X-men movie has me feeling decidedly underwhelmed.
I think my lack of enthusiasm has very little to do with the previews and trailers for X-men Origins: Wolverine. In fact the teasers promising explanations about the background of Marvel comics’ man of mystery don’t look half bad. My reservations have to do with the bad aftertaste that still lingers from the last X-men movie.
X-men was once the most popular franchise in Marvel comics’ repertoire. Its decline has to do with the fact that X-Men: The Last Stand is so bad that it falls completely off the bottom of my crap scale. This new attempt to reboot the franchise just seems to me to be a desperate grab to recapture some old glory and earn a few extra dollars for the studio and Stan Lee.
Star Trek
I have a dirty little secret. I am in fact a closeted trekkie. As a child I would sit and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation every single week. I would look forward to each new episode with eager anticipation. I had posters, and toys and even a Star Trek badge that resembled a communicator. As I grew Star Wars eventually replaced Star Trek in my heart and things were never quite the same. That is until I found the science fiction channel. Suddenly I found my love of the USS enterprise renewed.
This latest incarnation of Star Trek has everybody’s favourite Vulcan, Mr. Spock, going back in time to aid a young version of himself and the crew of the enterprise in some sort of galactic adventure. In the previews we have been teased with all sorts of images of the new/old crew battling aliens, fighting for survival, and doing what Shatner used to do best: kick some ass.
I will admit that when I first heard about the new movie I was skeptical. The original series was always a little too campy for my tastes and the Star Trek movies are, for the most part, notoriously awful. However this is a film that actually won me over with its previews. We have a young, up and coming cast; some serious looking action sequences; and J.J. Abrams, who certainly knows his way around a thriller. This Star Trek movie may actually turn out to boldly go where no Star Trek movie has gone before.
Other Films Coming out this month:
There were many more films coming out this month that I unfortunately just could not find the space in this article to sit down and bash. So here they are, in a single sentence, my thoughts on some of the other crap being released between now and the next Trailer Trashin’
17 Again – I didn’t like being 17 the first time, why would I want to do it again?
Fighting – Oooo really badass, especially that super awesome montage shot of the guy jumping a turnstile.
Obsessed – Fatal Attraction with Beyonce and the horrible chick from Heroes (you know the one I mean!).
The Soloist – Robert Downey Jr. is the only reason to see what I am sure is a mediocre feel-good drama.
Tyson¬ – Lets watch Mike Tyson fight his greatest foe yet, the English language!
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - Matthew McConaughey proves once again that he can only make one type of movie.
The Limits of Control – See this is how a spy thriller should look!
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