Somewhere round grade eleven I was having one of those really lousy Fridays. No don't leave, this isn't about to get moody, honest to god I can't even remember what I was being such a foss about. Anyways, having nowhere to go that I wanted to go and nothing to do but kick the stones around I somehow came to the destination of a comic book shop. When I walked into that comic store I got this, I don't know, vibe that I was going to run into a very specific person, someone in my mind and gut, the traces around their image and persona and some ethereal compass point which triggered something in the reaches of my wavelengths to tell me that, on that day, in that evening, in that store, I would run into them. I did then, and I did now.

I spotted Abi further down the third necessary escalator. The second my foot hit stable ground I sprinted past a handful of people to nudge her shoulder and yell her name. She was dressed in a light orange apron and other otherwise field working (but far too clean) clothes. She gave me a hug and asked me if I knew what she was. And I was in trouble. "Ehhhh... Someone from... Harvest Moon?" She pouted. "No..." she said, "I'm Cooking Mama." "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" I thought, I actually KNOW who Cooking Mama is. She wasn't really holding this against me and offered me a cookie from her basket regardless. I wondered if she could sneak such delectable noshes past the con security. Though I guess if put in such a tight space she could always bribe them with cookies, hell I'd crumble for it.

I told Abi to come with me to the press room, which to be fair was only about a three foot detour. This was the first year I was getting into Fanexpo as press, though the year before not having a press badge didn't exactly stop me from harassing guests for interviews, though I'd be lying if I said getting into the weekend affair for free didn't put a spring in my step. In fact, the surplus of interviews I did at last year's comicon is sort of what landed me here on this very site. Heh, this is sort of like a homecoming, y'know what I mean? In the press room I ran into another familiar face, in fact, wouldn't ya know, I ran into this very woman in that same comic book store on that same day that I ran into Abi. Yeah this was getting weird. Two in a minute, the stars are aligning, or maybe that is just the nature of this place, these places, the places for our kind. The woman was none other than Natasha Eloi of SPACE network fame. I said hi, to just be nice, and told her I had actually ran into her before at that aforementioned evening. As I was about to recall what we talked about that day she beat me to the punch. "Yeah I remember, we talked about Bond villains". I was a little taken back. "Yeah," I paused, "that's exactly what we talked about..." I think about how Eloi, who I am sure has talked to thousands of individuals on who knows how many different topics just remembered a brief conversation that even I barely remember from five years ago when I had ratty high school locks and no facial hair. I got my pass, turned around and saw a dude dressed like the Blue Beetle. "We're all here," I thought, "we're all home."

This is Toronto Comicon, geeks, dweebs, nerds, dorks, all of them from Toronto and around, spiraled in like water to an open drain. All the nerds in one single basement.

So socialites, you may be wondering, "What the hell IS comicon anyways?" And to be perfectly frank that's a pretty good question. Even attending year after year, the answer to such a question isn't very clear. If your first thought is a communion of doughy hawaiian t-shirt addicts who are really REALLY concerned about the fate of Black Canary in the next year, I cannot blame you, I think that's somewhere in the word Comicon's Latin origin. But things are different now. Comics aren't stupid anymore, comics are important. To you, to me, to all. Thanks Dark Knight, thanks Watchmen, you've ruined it for all of us. San Diego's Comicon, for example, has in the past few years has gone from forum poster mecca to blockbuster Cannes, more of an omni publicity event which tempts the public interests with promises of Depp, Diaz and Rogen. SDCC has become the beacon, it's where every loser and non-loser wants to be. To be tantalized about Iron Man 2, to be teased with Where the Wild Things Are, insulted with Alice in Wonderland, to finally figure out what the fuck Avatar is. It's what every other comicon, no matter how humble, deep down inside aspires to be. This past SDCC seemed to be the biggest yet, continuing it's escalating popularity with guests, turn out and hysteria. Where does that leave Fanexpo? Toronto's big budgeted comicon, who's site proudly proclaims to be North America's third largest? It leaves it with a very aggressive ambitions.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Fanexpo has been some sort of annual let down, it just seems to be, how to put it, the middle child of comicons. The guests have been getting exponentially larger year after year. Last year had none other than Buzz Aldrin in attendance which, if anything, sort of cuts down all the other guests. No offense Fonzie, you jumped the shark but that dude stepped on the fucking moon man. I think where the sorrows really seeped through is on the panels. In every other comicon across the nation, things tend to be announced. Films, developments, new runs, revived Captain Marvels, but Toronto's Fanexpo never seemed to summon much to bullet point. For example, one year me and my friend Alice had some time to kill and just wanted to sit in on the most interesting panel on the timesheet. We saw one for the, at the time, upcoming 30 Days of Night movie, series creator Steve Niles to be present. We thought "Oh neato, I wonder what this panel has in store. New footage? Juicy anecdotes of on set shenanigans? A preview that will make or break our twelve dollar movie ticket?" Well folks I will tell you how this tale ended. This panel was not about the comic, despite mister Niles' seat, or new developments on the movie, or footage or previews for that matter. What this panel WAS dedicated to was an in depth and vivid look into the promotional web series that would lead up to the movie. An hour long panel dedicated to a ten minute viral video loosely connected to a movie that would become sub par at best. Niles looked very tired during that panel. That's what Toronto comicon has for you. It hurt, yes, and it had hurt for years. While every other major city gets to learn who's been a Skrull for twenty years, Toronto gets to learn that Alpha Flight still in fact exists.

Sorry for alienating all the normal people there for a second, but please, this is a nerd's ballad.

There's a naked man being spray painted to look like Green Lantern.

This year was bound to be different, I started to feel it in my bones. This year would not only top the dork-charts, but somehow try to reel in the sort of spotlight SDCC so effortlessly consumes. There was a chariot for this angel of hope to ride in on, my friends. Oh you should have seen this chariot my family. It glowed a heavenly blue, and as you stared into it you saw not just it's rider, but your inner self. It hovered upon it's pedestal and surrounding it an ensemble of followers telling passing strangers, "Please, folks, feel free to take a photo of the Lightcycle". Oh god, is this it? Is this really happening? They never bring this shit here! I always see pics of like, the floating Nite Owl ship at SDCC and think, "man, THAT'S what they got". But here, oh here shedding off a heavenly aura, this publicity angel. What else is here?! Could there be more! Folks, let me melt down.

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The year before hosted a fairly impressive gaming section, with rotating previews of Gears of War 2, kind of a big deal at the time, and this year had not lost it's momentum. There was God of War 3, which I waited for but the guy in front of me managed to... break the game somehow and a key predesignated event simply wouldn't trigger. Shame too because
I woke up that morning really really wanting to jab a manticore's eyes out with it's own horns. There was Uncharted 2, but I uncannily seemed to suck at it, so let's stop talking about it. One game I did seem to manage to make things happen with was Bayonetta, Sega's upcoming sexy librarian game. It sure felt like a spiritual successor to Devil May Cry alright, only while those games gradually rewarded you with Dante's nudity episode after episode, this title delivered you with that titlation much more immediately. It literally seems to reward the player for executing more intricate combos with the lady protagonist's skin. She grows butterfly wings when she double jumps, which I don't remember from any trailers. Combine that with enough porcelain fountains and statues to make even the most trashy inner city Italian stereotype blush and it starts to look like a fantasy calendar in motion. Soon I start to feel like I'm actually
losing control of the game and it just takes me wherever. I'm shooting angel demons, I'm ripping off a giant's skin as he swings the floor I stand on around and then I crush his head with a dragon just I made, but it all starts to feel really lucid and I think throughout this course I only used three buttons. I think I'll rent it.

Okay what's next folks.

TRON!

MORE TRON!

There's a Tron panel! What shall we see? What shall we hear?! What shall we feel. They confiscate all of my recording devices, which too juiced to see some glamorous footage I eagerly oblige. Hell, why did I give them my cellphone? The thing doesn't even have a camera... In this panel we waited while a somber digital track laxed us in, I wondered if it was a sample of Daft Punk's score (it was). They showed us concept art from the film and it all seemed like Tron was rhino charging through the major sci-fi of the decades from then till now, slipping in some inspiration in the key of Blade Runner until what it starts to seem like is along the lines of Tron Noir. Oh and we saw how those flat space invader looking things *may* look. The only new footage they showed us was of the boring, non-Tron world, where Flynn's son returns to the arcade to discover a hidden passage and the magic of Journey's music.

Okay off to, shit, fuck, what next I'm having a sensory overload.

Fuck, that's the Iron Sheik over there! That's so cool that he's here! And there! That's the Soup Nazi! I don't know why he's at comicon but he is and that's so great! I asked him how sick of saying the line he was to which he surprisingly replied that he wasn't, that there was still charm to when he says it and according to Larry David, it sounds just like it did back in the day when he says it. NEAT. O.

There's a boy over there asking his mom to buy him a sexy anime school girl wallscroll. Okay.

Let's talk about the costumes. I for one am more fond of the humble, home made, don'tknowhollywoodmakeup types, taped together with packing materials and garage sale clothes. There's a boxy Soundwave accompanied by a youthful Solid Snake, according to Snake it's taken them twenty minutes to cross the convention hall due to photograph requests. Wicked.

Shit you should see the fucking line, I've never seen it go outside the building like this before, it's actually curling around the outside of the building like Princess Python's perilous pets. I kept hearing mumbles about them over ticketing the event and moments where they impromptuly close off escalators to other floors due to crowding make me believe it.

There are a lot of dude's "dressed like Kevin Smith" though that may be less of a costume and more of a nature of their being.

Me and noble photographer Matthew dove into the pool. He had never been to a comicon before. After organizing all of my interviews, I decided to take Matt to a panel that he and I may get some charm out of. Actor and celeb panels are usually the best, as they usually have the best stories. Last year Sid Haig told us all how he once was nearly forced to marry the princess of a headhunter tribe and then began tearing up when talking about slackers compared to his grandparents who built their own house. We went to Dave Thomas' panel, another guest who what exactly has to do with comics may leave me puzzled, but it's charming none the less. We walked in the middle of an anecdote about Buzz Aldrin's old-man-liness. He went on to give insight that the real reason they never had guests on SCTV was because they couldn't afford them, making the low budget the accidental source of comedy for most of the show. An avid fan of shoestring affairs, I got to wondering that on top of all the dorky interviews I could do maybe a more publicly welcoming one couldn't hurt. He didn't have the time, unfortunately, though his agent was really nice about it. She took us to wait outside an unmarked room while she saw what she could arrange.

This room. This unmarked room. What is in this unsuspecting room.

A lanky old man in a downturned baseball cap locomotives past me. Who was that man, who was that old man. That old man was. Matt's tapping me on the shoulder. That old man was. "Zack that behind us looks like Lou Ferrigno".

That old man was...

"Matt, that is Lou Ferrigno."

That old man was Leonard Nimoy.

God bless comicon.

Galactus bless comicon.