The internet should have been such a great thing. All the creativity and outlandishness of television and the world that makes television, why isn't that what the internet is made up of? Why do I despise Youtube, but adore cable access television? It can happen, right? That magic? That spark? That oddity? Of course it can. OF COURSE IT CAN. Meet John Kilduff, and for those of you who don't know, he makes art. He also jogs on a tread mill. He also answers phone calls. He also blends drinks, or cooks burgers, or a number of other tasks. He does this all at the same time. Broadcasting on cable access, Kilduff and his Let's Paint TV became a cult sensation. From 2002 till 2008 his fast paced, half breathed opinions on art and life to putting into question just HOW many things one man can do while painting. Though his final episode aired on TV over a year ago, he isn't done. He's taken his show online, streaming across the internet. Even that isn't enough, he's taking it world wide. On his "Embrace Failure" tour, he stopped in Toronto, before heading off to Australia, to answer the public's questions about life, art and failure. Let's see if he's got some air left to answer my questions.

What drew you to art in the first place?

Escaping from society.

Escaping from society?

Ahhh, I think so, yeah.

So why did you decide to broadcast it?

Because I got sick of escaping from society and being an introvert so I needed a way to interact with people again. I did a cycle where I became a monk, and then I got tired of being a monk and now I need to express myself in public. In a healthy way.

How did the treadmill come in?

That happened in '05. I just sort of brought that in and I sort of saw it visually as an interesting idea and then developed it as such. It came in as a visual, but also sort of an accident of sorts. It was an experiment. I experimented with it in my studio, making paintings without broadcasting it. I likened it to being outside in the public painting landscapes, because I paint landscapes outside anyways. What I like about the treadmill, as I answer the question and move on to another answer, what I like about it is how it gets you into the painting process really fast. Your endorphins and breathing get going. There’s a hurried aspect to your application of the paint, and a lot of people when they start off painting, they’re so careful and they’re so slow and deliberate and with this you just can’t do that. You’re forced to go for it and just throw everything down.

Would you say it’s just a good technique for an artist to experiment? Perhaps not just with a treadmill but the exercise of multitasking?

Yeah, maybe it’s a far-fetched idea, and maybe it’s just silly for anyone to even, y’know, try, but at the same time we all have these issues of having to feel like we’re doing everything and like we all have these issues, sometimes we feel like we have our heads cut off like a chicken running around... with blood squirting out. So, in that sense, I’m showing that it’s okay to be in that position where you’re running around, crazy, doing it all, and not necessarily doing it great or well, but you’re persevering. And ironically, at what point of embracing failure are you not failing anymore? It’s a valid point, and I’m starting to think about it more. Mostly because now, it’s starting to become successful.

So what does it mean to embrace failure?

Well look, the other day, I’m in Brooklyn, I did a performance and I didn’t “fall” off the treadmill but as I got off the treadmill I tripped over something else, like an amplifier namely. I didn’t know I injured myself, and I continued on with the program. Then the next day I felt like shit, I realized I bruised or did something to my rib, I got a fucked up rib right now. Shit happens! Stuff happens and you just gotta keep going! It’s a failure right? Well make adjustments and keep on going. That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m havin’ a beer. That helps. As long as I can still do it, I’m gonna do it. Maybe a doctor would say, “Y’know you probably shouldn’t be doing it.” But, well, I did slow the treadmill down, I hadn’t been running as fast.

I don’t think anyone’s going to hang you up on that one.

No, and in the process of doing it I’m not in any pain FROM doing it.  So I feel relatively safe. But if there was a position where I was doing it and I was feeling pain, well at some point you gotta be reasonable.

You emphasized safety up there.

Yeah I know! It’s a big deal for me because I’ve been doing this long enough to know that it is dangerous, what I’m doing. To be honest it’s not good to be drinking beer and stuff on the treadmill. Not safe at all. But again, I definitely don’t do it when I’m drunk.

When you were on cable access and even up on Stickam, anonymous strangers seem very hostile and angry. Why do you think the stranger is so obnoxious?

Well because they can hide behind their phone. Wherever they are. They are usually clever enough to have an undisclosed call. They can hide in their house, in the safety of their homes without saying who they are. I liken it to the idea that everyone has a little bit of Tourette's, on their part. I still think that all of us, we all have variances of these mental illnesses in our brains. Some of us have obviously way too much, it prevents them from doing anything. We all have moments. And so they hide, this is like an escape valve for them, to do that kind of stuff. It’s juvenile, I suppose, maybe that’s all it is. Probably is.

Probably is.

Yeah it probably is. Really, that’s probably all it is. But I just found it more fun to imagine they all just have Tourette’s, just laying it out. I felt good about that for some reason. I’m not an expert about that stuff. I shouldn’t actually say that.

What would you suggest to an artist that is “stuck”?

Try a new experiment. If they are really stuck, or wasting a lot of time on one project, just stop it maybe. Maybe just take a break. Take a break! There are so many variations you can do. It really depends on all the possibilities. Stop, take a break, take a walk around the block, take a vacation. Or, on the other hand, just jump in there and screw it up. Throw a wrench into the system and clog it, get it messed up, fuck it up, delete everything, throw paint on top of it. Times ten it, I like to say, whatever you were going to do?  Make it even more outlandish. Times ten it.