When I went to summer camp, the oldest boy’s dorm and focus point of younger male’s uncool envy would always go underway with spotlighting antics to which their disciples would only aspire to. One of their common flair ups would take place in the mess hall. During any too-dull-to-stand moments or amid any too-hyped-to-ignore cheer →
A fog nestled into the city this month. Some of us embraced it, approaching with a bewildered spectacle of hazy bliss. Some were more reluctant to traverse about, in fear of an obscured pedestrian/fast-machine-on-wheels relationship. Most of us smoked weed in Trinity Bellwoods. But as the fog settled, something latched itself to the surface of →
In the air above, in the sea below, embedded in history and under your bed. Since the campfire was first ignited, monsters have given the word ‘haunt’ reason, acting as figures of lore that permanently lurk within the shadows and unknown. They’ve inspired us, and they’ve inspired those that inspire others. But what is in →
I remember the Sega-CD. Not through embraced slow YouTube nights, but actual Toys R’ Us demo stands and the on-again off-again cohorts who actually shelled out for the system. It was the child of a simple but common rhetoric in games and technology. A dangerous one. The future must be now. The better the ‘graphics’ →
She’s known as Future Schlock. As arranged by texting, I’m meeting her at Black Dog Video, which she noticed on her way into town. It has coffee, wifi, and of course videos, all of which fills her checklist for a decent place to spend time. She’s from the internet, and I’m trying not to rest →
The human being reacts to emotional stimuli, the easiest way to trigger such a reaction is between two beings. Gathering, celebrating, eating, lazing about just looking at something on the wall. For causes or for nothing, we’ll go anywhere for any reason, drawn to company by a leash. The dog on an actual leash, on →
I don’t know if you’ve caught on to this by now, but gee-whiz I like video games. I will buy video games for systems I don’t even own because I like the cover art. I lose sleep wondering how great a new 7th Guest would be. Well, golly, I love everything about entertainment’s most time →
When the world sucks we’d like to go to music, even if we leave nothing behind in the process. Music is a healer, a gate into feelings just out of reach. When Florida band Surfer Blood breached the scene, music fans were ensnared by their addictive indie surf and unique echoing aesthetic. The music instills →
Photos by King Frankenstein Back in May, Offworld editor Brandon Boyer told a packed bar full of starry eyed nerds that, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Toronto is the city that all game dorks envy.” Landing somewhere in between smug, flattered and sceptical, it was a large compliment that was also a little hard to take. →
“It always rains on the Weed March” says my brother as we look out the door. But I’m not heading out the door to get blasted by the smoke monster anyways (not saying I wouldn’t, just saying that’s not why I left). It’s yet another annual scouting outing marred by mother nature. It seems when →
Webcomics have become part of the internet trifecta. Or to put that in terms webcomic nerds would understand, now part of the tri-force. It’s an immense and thick scene of marvelous gems and embarrassing haunts. Thankfully the good always outweigh the bad. KC Green? He’s very good. His blend of indie comic inks, internet anguish →
Monsters may hide in your closet and phantom your nightmares, but to many in this world it is a dream and delight. Since its golden age, a Hollywood tradition of grown actors masquerading around as freaks and ghouls is the foundation of many legacies. Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney of yesteryear, and while CGI may flood →
Last year I went on a slightly over-stimulated postamble on the calamitous events of Fan Expo, Toronto’s summer ending Hail Mary comic/sci-fi/horror/anime/tabletop/XXXL t-shirt convention. I had trouble identifying what role exactly the weekend held to our culture, but after seeing Wizard’s trembling foot in the door this past month, I sure can recognize what role →
My old basement had ugly faded flesh pink walls, bulging vein-like ripples moving along it. I had a ritual of staying up late at night every Friday, falling asleep in front of the TV, giving myself undeniable nightmares from watching whatever horror film the SPACE network was showing. To add to the awful essence was →
Getting off the bus, we were pinned in between the sign that said ‘Welcome to Toronto’ and another that said ‘Welcome to Markham.’ Across the intersection’s two cold crosswalks was a mall. Now I know, Toronto has plenty malls. Dufferin, Eaton, Yorkdale, there’s plenty options of places to shop and overcrowd on Boxing Day. But →
I’m sure you’re real jazzed about turkey and stuffing, and frankly I can’t blame you for being jazzed about stuffing, but Thanksgiving falls right after the high holidays. Me and my people, by that point, are pretty exhausted on the whole grand feast front. This isn’t anyone’s fault, but those years when Easter eclipses Passover →
Hello jerks. You know what sucks? Shitty games. I know I know, there’s a lot of shitty things out there. Shitty bands, shitty movies, shitty wax museums, but the bulk of those will run you fifteen, twenty bucks top. A shitty video game? Son you just sunk forty to seventy bucks. And for that I →
My chilling legs stamping up and down along Sherbourne street, breathing the fresh new ghost out of my mouth into the cell phone. Devo was in Toronto tonight. I could not miss it, I’d be dishonouring myself and everyone who thinks they know me. I couldn’t deny it any longer, friends. I must come out, →
The Carlton theatre closed down. It surprised little, and the only thing that jostles is how immediately it came to fruition. Though to me less so. Maybe I’m cold, but see it from my angle. Even pre-recession I’ve been surrounded by closing theatres. Within walkable distance is what used to be The Capitol, The Eglinton →
This weekend marked the seventh Spike TV VGAs, where Spike TV decided it would be up to them to decide what the best games of each year are. And by them they mean you, voting online, so in fact that really just makes them a glittery middle man between you and the Gamespot forums. So →
From the shadows of Detroit rises an electric dream. Musician Randolph Chabot had been crafting songs since his early teens, but now as his moniker, Deastro, he hits the world with an incredibly unique brand of synthetic sound. Light but powerful, and the vocal pipes to back it up, Chabot visited the city a little →
The internet should have been such a great thing. All the creativity and outlandishness of television and the world that makes television, why isn’t that what the internet is made up of? Why do I despise Youtube, but adore cable access television? It can happen, right? That magic? That spark? That oddity? Of course it →
You’ve double take’d at enough adverts by know to know that yes, The Toxic Avenger: The Musical is both very real and very here in the city. After Evil Dead and Reefer Madness, the cult film to stage musical craze is one mad ball that will probably continue to roll. But before we see Manos: →
A few moons back, I visited local game developers Capybara who had given me two recommendations of things to hit up. One was a ramen noodle place that is apparently behind city hall. The other was The Hand Eye Society. They seemed to bring up this mysterious organization quite a few times in our little →
November sweeps in. A time to remember those who have sacrificed their lives for our peace on the horrid stage of war. A time to wear the red poppy on your breast. A time to lose that aforementioned poppy on your breast somewhere around your apartment. A time to be really paranoid that, while inattentive, →
I guess there is a balance in the universe. When a field seems so saturated and overstuffed, it always shoots out a gem that makes the whole ordeal seem just worth it all. When you got sick and tired of zombie movies, Shaun of the Dead made you feel bad about your previous sentiments. Last →
My aunt used to have the best Halloween decorations. They were both the highlight and most dreaded part of my childhood Halloweens. I often wondered how much of the design she based solely on the elements that irked me. After all, that would explain why it began to feel like a gauntlet of my personal →
Sure, no one can shut up about vampires right now, but some people, and I mean this, actually know a thing or two about vampires. And of that handful, Elizabeth Miller is probably a key digit. Not only one of Canada’s top Vampire experts, she’s one of the most respected in the world. She’s spent →
Balance folks, it’s all about balance. I wrote reviews, and alas summer is gone, so both the time and money that’s typically required to play, and then talk about, new video games may no longer available. Yet somewhere in the back of my mind I cannot help but shake the feeling I will still be →
Somewhere round grade eleven I was having one of those really lousy Fridays. No don’t leave, this isn’t about to get moody, honest to god I can’t even remember what I was being such a foss about. Anyways, having nowhere to go that I wanted to go and nothing to do but kick the stones →
Photo by KF/SB Much of the nerd lifestyle has been co-opted, sadly. Either as chic or genuinely popular, comics to video games are as common in social culture as big pizzas, rock songs and weed. However, if I was to single out one property that still seemed to be cherished near exclusively by brands of →
Toronto has plenty to be proud of, those Canadian Heritage ads constantly reminded us that Superman may not have been originally from Krypton after all, we’ve been the backdrop of superflicks (even if they claim it’s still NYC) and above all, writer, artist and inspiration Darwyn Cooke calls it his hometown. Earlier at Fanexpo I →
Explosive, surreal, invasive, aggressive, natural, Bill Sienkiewicz’ art is as hard to describe as his name is hard to spell. One of the most memorable new talents of the 80′s, Sienkiewicz has graced his brush on everything from the works of Frank Miller to Moby Dick. His style has become signature, no stranger to commissions →
Dorks need music too, and there are only so many video game OSTs and anime themes one can morally download from Kazaa. While browsing the Fanexpo show floor I came across a particular booth that would offer the tune starved nerd a healthy alternative. While it was their large draped Jim Mahfood drawn posters that →
A legend of film and good taste, Lloyd Kaufman is the maestro behind Troma films, churning out beloved classics such as The Toxic Avenger, Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD, Cannibal the Musical, Surf Nazis Must Die and most recently, Poultrygeist: Night of The Chicken Dead. Lloyd Kaufman is also an author and a well-outspoken individual on the →
Walking through the door and gathering my breath (because in the heat of the moment RUNNING up four flights of stairs seemed like a really great idea) I slid into Capybara studios. I had never been in a game studio and did not know what to expect in a business environment that focused on fun →
Trash Panic (PS3, Pub:SCE, Dev: SCE Japan, Rated E for Ewwwww) Lowdown: A Sentiment Torontonians Have Uncomfortably Grown Accustomed To. -/+ For People Looking For Another Tetris Tetris-like is usually the best description for any arcade puzzle game, but Trash Panic throws a wrench into the machine, and a lightbulb, and a desk, and a →
Bionic Commando (PS3/XB360, Dev: GRIN, Pub: Capcom, Rated M) Lowdown: Bionic Comando is back, and all the RAD and BAD is just MAD. REALLY REALLY MAD. – God I Hate Nathan Spencer As Much As Nathan Spencer Hates Everything RAD is now Nathan Spencer. Nathan Spencer is a total dick. Just looking at GRIN’s logo →
I told the kid manning his post. My right arm leaning on the table, elbow pressing into a flakey laminated sale flyer. The kid twirled a pen in his jaw, eyes fished by the ending light of the display window. “Excuse me,” he said, “pardon my low wage distraction, how can I disappoint you today?” →
Two years ago I was at a party with a close bundle of buds. Three of them, despite the nicest of atmospheres, where slouching and had gestures that showed a great deal of sore bodies and wearing muscles. I had to ask, “Dear hombres, why so bogged down?” But instead of a reaction of guilt, →
It’s hard to off the cuff drop a noise rock band when asked for a a new sound suggestion by a bored pal. The mere sound of the genre can permafreeze a padawan to the ground. So the fact that LA noise rock group HEALTH has made so much crossover to whippy dance kids that →
In an age of tramp stamps and TLC saturation, it’s hard to imagine a time when tattoos walked hand in hand with the title of ‘Badass’ along a field of broken dreams and shattered bottles. Erich Weiss can, however, spending over a year documenting stories from legends such as Ed Hardy and Eddie Funk about →
Punch-Out!! (Wii, Pub: Nintendo, Dev: Next Level Games, Rated E10+) Lowdown: +++ Can’t Knock the Design (Heh Heh WHAT A PUN RIGHT!) If I’m the first source to tell you, Punch-Out!! is not really a fighting game, straight up. It’s a pattern recognition and reflex game. You go head to head with another ethnicity, memorize →
Back down the corridors of my mind, in the darker ends, covered in dust and thorns lies a chest. A chest of guilt, of secrets and of poisons that the very passing of through the rest of my lobe sends shivers coiling down my spine. Somewhere among the clutter of these objects lay a doozie. →
Let me make one thing perfectly clear. That Friday night I got there about an hour in, my whole attendance was an impulse move, spur of the moment. This won’t be the most formal capturing of events, but then again I won’t be exactly writing about what Cirque du Soleil did, more like what happened →
I have a confession to make. Wait did I already start an article that way? Whatever shame makes for a decent opener. So I’ve been a baaAAaad nerd, it’s goddamn Dexter season two all over again. I miss one small episode of the story, get lazy fall behind and some unenthusiastic anchor has just keeps →
The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena (Multi, Pub: Atari, Dev: Starbreeze Studios, Rated M) Lowdown: ++ Even if you don’t like Vin Diesel this is still the best of Vin Diesel Vin Diesel’s professional role of being macho man pedal slammer to Disney movie hilariDad probably doesn’t fancy everyone, but if I had →
Sure, Batman, Ironman, Watch… Men may be out there making superheroes and graphic novels look cool to the masses, but if anything it’s just making it harder for the comics that inspire these social phenomena to live up to the cool quota. Well, maybe for most, not for artist/writer, Paul Pope. He makes cool look →
Fear is a funny stupid thing. Most spinetinglers should logically be trumped by logic, but no matter how many monsters you try to debunk or sounds you try to explain there’s always some shadow looming over you that just unsettles your skin and leaves you pulsing. Oh me? I’m a badass motherfucker whose very foot →
I’m not a music critic. When I look at a lot of music reviews I so often feel they’re speaking some different language, about progression, qualities and if it’s “the time”. Me? I like music I can get wasted to, fist pump and bash my face into something. I like things that make me feel →
I think if Edgar Wright was any less friendly and I any more creepy, my weeks of pressing to get a few questions out of him could have ended in police sirens and tears. But so sue me I wanted to speak to Edgar Wright. They guy’s done some hi-holarious films like Shaun of the →
Comic books are fun. And in an age where the most household comic scribe names are usually known for creating the most demolished and grit riddled interpretations of once smiling heroes, we, the comic geek ilk, know there will always be one writer waiting on the side lines always ready to knock them off their →
Yeah well it happens to the best of us. Guy just has to lift up his head, take a deep breath, slow the heart, relax, think aboaaaaaaaaauuuuuuu UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AGGHHHHHHHHHHHAHGHSHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUC MadWorld (Wii, Pub: Sega, Dev: Platinum Games, Rated M and HOW) Lowdown: What’s black and white and red all over? +++ YEAAAAH I think →
Street Fighter 4 (PS3/XB360, Pub/Dev: Capcom, Rated T for TAIGUR) Lowdown: It took thirty seconds after starting the game for me and my pal to exclaim, “Oh DAMN” ++++ This is Not Quite SFII (But Most Definitely NOT SFIII) But not quite a total departure either. This is something magical. Returners will be very comfortable →
Can I be perfectly sincere for a moment? Is… is multiplayer gaming, despite being more technically competent than ever, dying? I remember inviting everyone over for Goldeneye, or hitting the Playdium for House of The Dead 2 on time card and having unshakably the best times of my life. Nowadays I find myself turning on →
Born in Kenya and raised in London Ontario, Shadrach Kabango, Shad K for short, has made no time in making an equally interesting name for himself on the hip hop scene, Canadian and otherwise. His lyrics identify with the new generation of music fans, reflecting on a culture raised on the sounds of years past →
You play video games. I mean why else would you be reading this unless you do? Video games have been both the youngest and most impactful new sect of our youth culture. Be it old game, new games, from Mario to Rock Band, there is a spot in everyone’s heart for the digital art, but →
Is the movie-going experience leaving you dry nowadays? Are the films too full of themselves, too pristine and artificial? Are the theatres you see them in too uncaring? Is there no heart at the concession stand, where some gangly apathetic teen awaits to serve you a dusty box of Glossettes and some of the poorest →
Hey folks. Much like everyone else, that gloomy winter season’s getting me down, something about that sepia sky constantly bearing down on me really executes the spirit. People are fighting in the world, money seems to be fizzling into the ether and everything just sort of sucks. The only comfort is thinking of simpler times, →
Since 2001, Chris Onstad has been producing an online comic that has inspired, confused, enlightened and enriched lives en masse. Achewood, with Onstad’s unique brand of humour has labeled him a cut above any other webcomic with praise from even Time Magazine. The adventures of Ray, Pat, Téodor and very special boy Philippe have kidnapped →
Hello cold world, King Frankenstein again here. Now I know we haven’t been together long (if at all) but as the new year begins also begins a special time for every dork who rants about video games on the internet. No, not putting up awkwardly narrated video guides on youtube, I am of course talking →
It’s another ho ho ho holly jolly holiday season, and for every dork with too much time on his or her hands this usually heralds the nerd’s most bittersweet ritual, playing the massive onslaught of holiday game releases. So for all yee dweebs whose eyes are focused on this page I shall lend you a →