So Whatever Has Ol' King Been Up To?

Hello digital world, King Frankenstein here. I was going to write up my shenanigans earlier but my internet was acting really useless yesterday. Instead here's just a loot bag of notes from my splendid adventures.

So Thursday night I was really boring and stayed in the Horseshoe,

Spookey Ruben

- The lead wins my Phil Collins lookalike award winner

- And that one guy looks like Josh Homme after a bad year.

- And fuck if that keyboardist doesn’t looks like a dude I know named Tommy

- Spookey’s voice a little too buttery sweet for my liking but I suppose you can’t rag on a guy for having a swell voice.

- They sang this song called Rachel and it sort of sounded like the bassist was saying “Rachel Paychel” which is cute because that’s what I used called every Rachel I knew when I was like, 6, then again I could just be hearing things.

- They then played a longer piece broken up into chapters about some wacky fantasy land yet every other chapter just sounded like the DOOM theme, then again that could also be all in my head.

The Burning Hell

- They appear to be juxtaposition to their name led by Wooly Willy.

- These bunch look like they are a fun and quaint group of pals.

- Which makes sense because I think they are in fact friends with about a third of the audience.

United Steel Workers of Montreal

- And this crew looks like a bunch of humble cowboys with a side of that cop from Spawn

- Okay, I’m going to be honest, this is a really solid act.

- And I’m not just saying that because one of them gave me an exorcism during the performance.

- I’m serious, ask anyone who went. That was me.

- Though with that said, even as a Jew I suddenly feel light as an angel’s feather.

King Khan & BBQ Show

- Well I guess he was ‘pleased’ this time because he stayed the full set.

- AND tried to fix his broken string before finishing the set (roadie just handed him a new one though)

- I can’t imagine how he wouldn’t have been pleased with audience movement, crowd fluxed like a goddamn whirlpool. I couldn’t imagine anyone keeping their location for more than ten seconds at a time.

- Well except for my friend, who, true story (according to her) fell asleep ON the side of the stage.

- Apparently a good stranger told Khan she was “meditating”.

HEALTH

- What a bunch of kewl lookin’ dudes I would love to meet. Hmmm...

- I hope that guy isn’t wearing a Nickleback shirt to make fun of us.

- Though honestly I guess that reason would be better than the alternatives.

- Okay, so all the shit my friends told me is true.

- HEALTH rules live.

- Even their sound check kicks ass.

- It’s a glorious scene to behold, on one hand it appears they have lost complete control of themselves, unleashing themselves onto their instruments like a violent musical sex party. On the other hand it’s all incredibly calculated and technical, and even when they bend, err, collapse over to turn dials and knobs it all seems incredibly emotionally wrought.

- You know I can’t even play expert on Guitar Hero, mostly.

I didn’t stay for OPOPO (who seem like a swell bunch) and Tin Star Orphans (whom I had called Star Warphans all evening) because, well, there was a certain band I got to interview out back instead. Wiiiiiiiiiiiink~

THEN ON FRIDAY, AT THE WHIPPERSNAPPER

Spiral Beach

- Hey, didn’t that dude go to Northern?

- Yeah, he did! We chatted it up about how the place is now a total police state with security cameras and need-to-wear-lanyards.

- There’s a hall monitor at Northern we called “Batman” because he always wore at least one piece of clothing with the Bat-emblem on it. Though now what I’ve been hearing about the amped security, he may stand earn the title of “Batman” from tech and gear alone.

- But fuck, I accidently told him I graduated there two years before I actually did.

- My bad, but it FELT that long ago.

Matt and Kim

- Wow, these two are never not smiling.

- I wonder what I can do to become perma-jolly.

- I heard a whisper that Kim wasn’t feeling too hot, but she sure fooled me.

- Being in a narrow un-air conditioned art space probably isn’t helping at all.

- I tried to see if I could sneak an interview in, but they were out in a hurry, I guess I can’t blame them if the word of mouth was true. (Also don’t fret dear internet, I have alternative arrangements in the works) Instead I myself somehow got interviewed by these two older women who I thiiiiink worked for either a radio or TV station.

- They called me a hot dork.

- Which if you’ve never seen my face before is absolutely true.

- I’d go so far as to say I am the hottest man alive.

- B)

LATER, AT SNEAKEY DEE’S

The Coathangers

- Oh my god.

- They are all a bunch of cutie-patooties singing garage rock~

- Gwarsh.

- I don’t know which one I’d want to hug first.

- No that’s a lie, the keyboardist~

- I hope they aren’t reading this, that drummer could kick my ass.

AIDS Wolf

- In retrospect I should have done more research on what their live shows are like before coming. Oh well, life’s an adventure.

- Lead gave me a handshake before the show started, squeezed like she wanted to juice the pulp out of it. Then nabbed me by the press pass to learn my name. We talked about how the tech set up is always the most awkward part of any performance, it’s hard to tell if things are going well or not because regardless everyone has a mourning face while doing it.

- I tell you what, I am going to keep a close eye on Flickr albums.

- I suspect there’s going to be maybe a handful of really really dumb, interesting and debatably compromising images of me and her at that show.

SOON, AT THE REVERB

Blood Ceremony

- Fuck yeah, I didn’t know Blood Ceremony was at NXNE. Here I was beating myself up for missing their last gig.

- My bud Lucas was complaining that, while they weren’t bad, having non-metal artists named Valery Gore and Superstitions play before Blood Ceremony was totally misleading.

- So harsh...

- They make flute so harsh...

- I am a guiltless head banging motherfucker and I love it.

The Magic

- Hey it’s that guy from That Burning Hell.

- He told me he was worried about wearing the same outfit two days in a row in case someone caught him in the act, but couldn’t resist because it was his fave.

- Dude from Magic, consider yourself BUSTED.

Also yes, despite hiccups there was in fact another interview done yesterday as well. ANY GUESSES INTERNET?